It was my Dog Pumpkins It’s Fall Yall Shirt mom who told me when I was maybe ten or eleven, “You can’t tell anyone that you’re abused. You can’t tell your teachers or anyone. If you do, they’ll take you away from me.” It was messed up because it was my stepdad who was abusing us, and I can remember pleading with my mom for years to just kick him out because he was making life hellish for us both. She just kept telling me that we couldn’t afford to live without his income, so she told me that I just wasn’t allowed to tell anybody that he abused us because CPS or the state would punish her for neglect and take me away from her.
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At that Dog Pumpkins It’s Fall Yall Shirt point, I wanted to get away from both my parents. My stepdad was the main abuser, but I knew my mom was a codependent enabler. I was just so close to graduating and moving onto college that I didn’t want to risk losing my merit placement at my school by potentially being removed from my home. My closest safe relatives lived on the other side of our state, which would mean it has to switch schools for my final year of shit hit the fan. I figured that I managed to survive as long as I did; it made sense to me to just keep my head down another year and a half until I could get out. Stuck with the devil I knew how to manage rather than tempt fate with a new set of circumstances.
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